Leonardo DiCaprio’s POV: This Ultimate Misinterpretation

So last night, I went out to see Red Riding Hood. I’ve been dying to see it ever since I heard Amanda Seyfried was in it. Though she seems to play the same character in every film she does, I enjoy her…so I thought I’d give it a shot.

What I’d hoped for was an adaptation of the original that would spring a little life into the old story. Red Riding Hood has always been a favorite of mine. After all…its got everything a good story needs: a villain, a damsel, and a bunch of clueless nobodies running about…one of whom is sure to grow a pair and become a hero. So is that what the famed Leonardo gave us? Hells no. Instead, he decided to turn the age old tale of the Big, Bad Wolf into a love triangle meant to enthrall teenagers everywhere.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for a good love triangle…really. That is, if it involves gratuitous sex scenes, intrigue, more sex scenes, debilitating desire, and maybe a liiiittle more sex just for good measure. But to make this about feelings – Red’s feelings, the fiance’s feelings, the bad boy’s feelings, mom’s feelings…hell, even the dead sister’s feelings. Come on. Let’s get real here Leo. We’re not even talking about the same story anymore. The actors were so-so, the cinematography was dizzying, and the only believable and relatable aspect of the movie to the story was the scenery and setting.

I’m all for seeing someone’s adaptation of a classic, but let’s focus here, shall we? Its a classic for a reason. Please, by all means…Read. Interpret. Identify. But at the point you change the majority of the story from a thriller into a pseudo-love story….well, I’m gonna have to jump ship on that one. May the effects of the adjustment of your medication arrive sooner, rather than later.

Maybe stick to acting? Producing is all well and good as you grow up a bit, but your picker is definitely off. A better screenplay would certainly have produced a better result, I think. Better luck next time Leo.